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DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I’ve dated for seven months. We’ve a great relationship when it comes to compatibility. We’re each Christian and educated, and we now have good professions. We’re fun-loving and each of us like to speculate and journey. He enjoys my firm and says I’m the lady with the perfect qualities he’s ever dated.
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However I do have one challenge: He stays in shut contact together with his former on-and-off girlfriend of 10 years and different ladies he dated. Once I requested him about it, he stated he cares about different folks and likes to communicate with them.
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An instance: Final 12 months when he was single, he wished to take his long-term ex-girlfriend out for a day journey, dinner and a musical so she may get away from her residence. Her daughter and grandkids, who have been dwelling along with her, made her life very robust. My boyfriend and this ex additionally textual content one another usually to maintain up with one another’s household and life.
I really feel uneasy about this. Wouldn’t most ladies? To me, if you happen to don’t assume a relationship is working, it is best to cease seeing one another so that you don’t trigger extra confusion or fire up extra emotion. How ought to I take care of this? I like this man rather a lot and actually assume we now have one thing going. — SHARING HIM IN TEXAS
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DEAR SHARING HIM: When folks finish long-term relationships, they don’t all do it in the identical approach. A few of them have a dramatic blowup and by no means converse to the individual once more. Others stay pals for a few years.
In case your boyfriend’s former flame has an grownup daughter and grandkids, none of you’re inexperienced youngsters yourselves. When you actually desire a future with him, you might have to just accept that he received’t be glad if you happen to attempt to curtail his social contacts. When you can’t summon up sufficient self-confidence to handle that, maybe it is best to discover another person.
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DEAR ABBY: I’m a 68-year-old married man with no shut pals. I labored for 35 years in my family-owned bar and restaurant, till they misplaced it. After that, I labored as an assistant supervisor in a number of fast-food locations, then as an assistant supervisor in a serious pharmacy.
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At 65, after three knee surgical procedures and a foot fusion, I retired from working full time. I now work half time for a bodily remedy centre, principally to maintain busy and make a couple of bucks. I’ve no hobbies or main pursuits. I’ve a number of well being points, that are below management.
I really feel lonely more often than not. I do know lots of people and get together with folks — I simply FEEL lonely. I’ve two sons I’m very pleased with who’ve households of their very own, however they’re busy with their lives. I’ve nobody to speak to who received’t choose me for feeling the best way I do. Are you able to give me any path of the place to show? — A BIT LONELY IN THE EAST
DEAR LONELY: You say you’re married. Is it a contented marriage? You even have part-time employment. These are issues to be pleased about. Your persistent loneliness could also be one thing to say to your docs. The issue could possibly be emotional, religious, existential or bodily, or it could merely be boredom. However the place to start out can be a physician or a religious adviser that can assist you resolve this.
— Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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